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In Other News


In other news, Hugh Hefner has been invited to attend dinner served at the White House with the new president, Donald J. Trump. The wait-staff will not include any male servers, and will be dressed in bunny outfits, including bunny ears, and will be instructed to call every male attendee Baby, Honey, or Sugar. Mrs. Trump will be referred to only as Ma'am, as she is now officially the house mother, and will make frequent visits to the Mansion to oversee operations. The girls love her. There isn't any resentment toward her. She is one of them after all, so why should there be an resentment? Girls at the Playboy Mansion, deserve to be there after all and get a bad rap for being what is basically known as "hot".

The irony of the situation is that the White House has never had a Playboy Bunny as the first lady before. Why that is, nobody seems to be able to answer. But, now, we have a new reality! Jackie O was a "lady", but not a party girl by any official reports, and walked with traditional dignity and grace. Not that she wasn't "hot" in her own way, just not the Playboy Bunny kind of "hot". She represented a different class of woman. Not even Hillary Clinton is Bunny material, or Michelle Obama. These women, the Bunnies, truly are in a class by themselves, and are often looked down upon by a society permeated with Schadenfreud disorder. If you don't know what that is, just ask any Playboy Bunny, or a celebrity who knows full well that their very presence can spark ridiculous jealousy among others, though that would really be reverse Schadenfreude.

So, it truly is a red letter date in American history. We basically elected a Hugh Hefner archetype as president of the United States of America, and nothing would be more fitting than for her to have posed nude for photos. There isn't anything wrong with that as Playboy has for years presented dignified images of naked women hardly to be considered porn. Their jokes section could be classified as pornography more than the photography. And, now, only just over a year since Playboy ceased from publishing nude photos in its print edition, we have a fully clothed, former nude model as first lady of the White House. By the way, Melania Trump never actually was a Playboy Bunny.

If you really think about it, isn't it about time for this? Nobody really expects Melania Trump to try and usurp authority over the presidency as "some" first ladies did... who might have attended the inauguration yesterday... She'll probably continue to be 100% female, as she is. What's wrong with that?

So, whether you voted for Trump, or not, like I did not, then give him credit for winning the election with some of the most absurd campaigning we have ever witnessed in this day and age. Saying things you think would be as passe as say... nude photos in Playboy! Donald Trump spoke, the people listened, and they bought it. That's all that matters. Whether or not he can actually sell the Brooklyn Bridge after saying he can is an entirely different question.

In Other News is a fake news publication I just started today. I'm telling you it's fake right up front! So, don't believe a word I'm saying, but am I lying?

For "In Other News",

~Gabe

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