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Wrong About Irene

Well, as Irene continues its way up the eastern seaboard, Georgia has been spared from any devastation although it was very humid today; that’s not devastating.  That’s par for the course in Georgia.  At least, that has been par for the course most of the time I have lived in this beautiful state.  Yet, the previous ten years have been moderate in terms of the humidity factor.  So, this recent humidic return in the last couple of years has restored and reminded us of the fact that this beautiful state, as lush and green as it is, is right next door to Florida, the arm pit of the South.  And Irene brought a piece of Florida with her and left in Georgia.  A soggy statement that can only stimulate thanksgiving.

My first year of college, I was seeing this girl who had to write a paper on the topic of “The Optimism of Pessimism”.  I suppose, I am writing the same paper write now, only I won’t receive a grade.

She said to me, ‘I received a topic for a paper today and I’m not quite sure how to approach it’.  The topic is “The Optimism Of Pessimism”.  I said, “Well, that’s easy!  You just have to write about how when you think of the worst case scenario as a result of a situation, then if the worst case scenario doesn’t occur, you can’t be disappointed!”  She said, “Yeah... that’s it!”

I kissed her goodnight with just a peck.  It was a new relationship.  So new, we hadn’t even french kissed.  It was weird because this was not my first relationship and I wasn’t a virgin or very inexperienced..  Not that I was a playboy by any means.  It was just that this was not the first girl I had ever tried to kiss.  The difference was that she didn’t really seem to open her mouth and without some sort of mutual tongue experience I didn’t wast to push the girl into something she was unfomfortable with, like my tongue being in her mouth!  It wasn’t until a week or so later I finally had to say something.

“You know there’s something we should talk about... (As she nodded with approval to hear the issue) Uhmm, I don’t know how to say this, so I guess I should just be straight forward.

“OK”, she responded...

“Well, the fat of the matter is we’ve never actually had a real kiss and...”

Before I could finish the sentence, she busted out laguhing and then so did I!  We laughed so hard we couldn’t kiss, but then the calm came and we made ammends...  

It wasn’t until later that year I probably broke her heart by not showing up for Christmas at her house with her parents.  I never talked to her again until my sophomore year at UGA, where I was earning my bachelors degree in Comedic Justice.  I didn’t even know she was attending UGA.  We saw each at the bus stop in front of the student center on campus.  By then, I had a new girlfriend I was practically living with, which I explained.  She asked me if I was happy, to which I replied in the affirmative, and I was.

These are near misses in life you might not even think about until years later.  But, today I think of the near miss with Irene, where just a few drops of rain fell from the swirling clouds overhead last night.  She left us moistened with only the dew from the sky and no destruction.  She only gave us a little kiss, but no tongue!  As with my experience, the tongue of Irene might not come until later as the remainder of the east coast awaits her land fall and North Carolina is being dumped on now as I write these words.

While I am trying to draw some kind of parallel here between a college girlfriend and a hurricane, let me not suggest her kiss was violent, it was just the summation of the storm.  Certainly, this girl was no storm, but the one I went with sure was!!  In fact, as it turned out, as gentle and kind as she was at first, she turned into one of the most vicious people I’ve ever known in life.  If I had my own personal hurricane, this would have been it.  Boy, was I ever wrong about Irene!

So, I think the lesson we can take from this atmospheric lesson in Georgia is that we have dodged a bullet with this gentle Ireneian kiss while we await to see what happens next.  But, should we hope for the worst just so we can feel better about the results if they are less than devastating?  I’m not so sure about this whole optimism of pessimism thing... in hindsight...

I say we hope for the best.

Peace,
~Gabe










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