BLAHG, BLAHG, BLAHG!!!

I walked out the door to find a pair of pink eyeglasses laying on the a brick planter on the sidewalk.  Someone must have been sitting there and left them behind.  So, I took them inside to put in the lost and found, but before I did I checked to see their strength. I've been wearing readers for years now, but I need a prescription.  When I put them on I couldn't believe how well I could see.  You really don't realize just how blurry things are until you put on some specs that work, even if they're pink.  So, after a week and nobody claiming them I boldly claimed them myself.  I don't care what color they are except I did take a Sharpie and try to color them black which only lasted for another week before the ink had almost worn completely off. What happened after that was an astounding example of just how prejudice people can be.  Within a forty-eight hour period, three different gay men had approached me.  After all, I live in a...

As I made my way from the hotel room where I had just enjoyed ten hours of uninterrupted sleep, I was greeted by housekeeping, an older man and woman, Indian, as evidenced by the Bindi on her forehead.  They were so friendly, but did not speak much English.  The woman approached me requesting the key and that the door be left open.  At least, that's what her hand gestures seemed to indicate.  When I complied she put her hands together in front of her and bowed with thanks.  The man said, "You have good day!".  I returned the blessing and made my way downstairs. On the previous night when walking to the hotel I noticed there was a new Mexican restaurant that had opened in an old spot that has been several things including a video rental shack, and a Bubble Tea House.  It was about quarter 'til eleven when I was passing by.  I noticed the door was open and people were inside.  As I came to the threshold of the doorway, I leaned in to fin...

I just finished up a two week stay in Hawaii!  It was great!  Except, I never left the hotel room!  In case you didn't notice, that's three sentences in a row ending with an exclamation point.  And, without intention.  I apologize for my perceived "overuse" of ellipsis and exclamation points in advance of the reading of this post... I'm not sure where I'm going with this.  I have no advanced plan, or outline for it.  But, after two weeks in Hawaii, I feel like a ROCK STAR, just without the pay check.  Anyway, do they actually get paychecks?  If they don't, they sure have a good time, until they get fat and get face lifts trying to keep up with father time who never ages... One thing for sure that never ages is Quality.  Somehow, it always remains.  Now, if you can remember before you were born, there aren't any memories, or consciousness, and that must be the greatest Quality; no feelings, emotions, nothing.  Yet, we are he...

A few years ago, I had a string of "magical" experiences that lasted for several weeks, if not months.  I had just spent six months in the county jail.  I could barely walk after being released because I hadn't exercised at all during my stay.  That's my fault.  Nonetheless, I made my way to the bar where I began my road to recovery!  Sounds funny?  In fact, it's not what you might think, kinda.  Carrying cases of beer up and down stairs is exercise!  Believe it, or not! I don't keep up with all the pop music there is.  As I've said before, the music I listen to is mostly passively, whatever is playing in the bar.  I don't have a portable playlist I listen to, and I don't have a device I could listen to that portable playlist on anyway.  Yet, there I was beginning my road to recovery from poverty to imprisonment...  Only this time it was more taxing having only been locked up for weeks, or days at a time before.  Physica...

It all began with a broom in Boston. Feddie Spaghetti was sweeping the sidewalk as he usually does when he said, "I love my broom!  It reminds me of that guy on tv that says, 'I love my blender', ha, ha... The thing is I know how to use a broom because when I was a kid, if I didn't do it right, my Mama would tear my ass up!  God knows I love my broom.  He was teaching me... You know?  I don't know what he was teaching me, but if I didn't do it right my Mama would whip my ass" "It must have been a foreshadowing of things to come", I said. "Huh", Feddie responded. "A foreshadowing... God knew one day you would be in front of this Subway.  So, he taught you how to use a broom". "Oh, yeah, a foreshadowing... Haha" Meanwhile, Feddie continued to sweep, as I continued with a cotton swab in my ear.  These are things you would normally do in the morning, in the comfort of your own home, but since I don't have a...

The time has come! A couple of months ago, I got the last slot on this tour and its first ever visit to Athens. The recorded stories are broadcasting on WUGA now, every Friday and Sunday. I'm not sure of the schedule, but I received a link to my session and will be distributing it myself as well. Listen in for local stories from a few Athens, GA characters, including my own! My partner was not able to make it. So, they interviewed me themselves. I haven't listened to it yet, but from the experience, I'd say it was true to form. And, remember... Don't be afraid to put fruit in your grits! StoryCorp Interview 2018 ... For the full line-up, beginning with those currently being aired, visit this link to WUGA: https://www.wuga.org/programs/storycorps-athens-stories

Every now and then, I feel like leaving this town, Athens, GA.  Then, I remind myself, wherever I go I'm still homeless, even though I've convinced myself I'm home wherever I am... As recently as last week, Thanksgiving, I was again facing the same feeling.  After all the job leads from New York and New Jersey, and all the other things like Playboy models who once subscribed to my BLAHG years ago, when I started it, I thought about running away and chasing those glimmers of hope. After my first two subscribers were Playboy models, I seriously considered going to Pacific Palisades, on a shoe string and without a hedonist bone in my body!  The sign on the gate apparently said something like, "If you're not into swingin', then don't come a ringin'".  That just grosses me out.  It was at that point I decided I could never be a Hugh Hefner.  Call me whatever you want, but I'm not ringin' on that gate. So, ever since then, I've lived on...