Friday, August 11, 2017


I stumbled across this MEME seemingly serendipitously and thought to myself it would be pessimistic for me not to share it because I've experienced so many miracles in life I call them Disneyland moments...

Early this morning, I heard a clap of thunder and at exactly 3:33 I was awakened by the loudest clap of thunder I've ever heard in my life. As I stood up you could feel it tremoring in the floor. This is especially important to me and if you've followed my BLAHG posts over the years you know why.

Three is a spiritually significant number not only in Christianity, but in various religions dating back even before Christianity. Three, in my experience, demands attention as the claps of thunder certainly got mine.

The last time a significant moment like that occurred also at 3:33am about four or five years ago. I was asleep, in a dream, when a text message came in. I woke up long enough to respond a couple of times, but it was non-sense. So, I drifted back into a dream when BOOM the sound of what seemed like a gun shot went off in the room and a picture simultaneously fell off the wall. I won't recap the whole story... but it's a doozie of events that just scream out for attention. Kinda like our president...

The time before that I had been out playing pool and stayed out late night. When I arrived home I cranked up the laptop when there she appeared in the form of a chat window at precisely 3:33am. Normally, I hate chat, and/or pop up ads, but this was an attractive young woman listed as Asian, Jewish, liking smokeless tobacco, and horses. My kinda girl, I say! At least, that's what it said on her profile. Sounds like a pile of horse manure? Just wait 'til you hear the rest of that story!!!

There was no thunder except for the sound of horses hooves in my imagination. Exactly, what I was looking for... an Asian Jew who likes to chew and go giddy-up! She was from Union Point, GA. I had never heard of Union Point. Have you?

Well, I found out about Union Point, GA after that, but I'm saving the rest of the story for the stage. Next month, on September 13th, I'm going to tell a story of "Toils and Troubles" at Rabbit Box where I was invited to share not only a story, but a true story! Don't worry... It's rated G! The "G" stands for Galaxy, but you'll have to wait to find out why!

Thanks for reading! Now, come hear me speak. I just hope my voice isn't scratchy because his seems to be very clear. Though, I guess it could be my imagination.


Friend Me!!! And, if you don't, that's ok too!!!

P.S. I don't know why every now an then BLOGSPOT posts sometimes creates larger than normal spacing between paragraphs. I try to correct it but it is un-repsonsive to my requests. It's like at work and with all the machines I work with. I am convinced God uses computers, and "God's gift to comedy", largely to teach us patience.

Peace to you!

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Beans & Cheese

I have found less stress by not watching the news. Although, I did use the word "retarded" the other day to describe the situation we face in this nation at which point someone attacked me for using the word in it's informal offensive sense describing the situation and not a person. So, the guy got mad and called me a Jew, among other things, and actually a Queer Jew because I had used the word "retarded". I was not offended, but he would have been if I called him a Jew, because he was a Redneck. Though I didn't resort to calling him a Redneck, I'm telling you he was. The difference is I've often identified with my Jewish side, just as I identify with my Black side, and heck I might as well admit I identify with my feminine side too, but not my gay side!! Therez no gay side to identify with. I don't understand that behavior. As far as the feminine side goes, anybody who has a heart can identify with that. The difference is as a male, you learn to think past the heart more often than you are controlled by it. 

The Black side identification only comes from exposure to black culture, and the same could be said of the Redneck side which I have exhibited some tendencies in my lifetime dating back to high school where I dipped Skoal and wore my ball cap backwards. Backward cap wearing crosses over cultures, and is primarily concentrated among middle to upper class kids, but has no racial barriers, as just the other day I encountered a Pakistani man wearing his hat backwards eating a bean and cheese burrito with ketchup.

Apparently, Ketchup is also one of those things that crosses cultural lines like wearing your hat backwards. The point of all this is simply for a matter of perspective. You cannot truly judge anyone who likes ketchup or wears their hat backwards. It's a matter of preference similar to the way we view weeds. Weeds are a matter of opinion and to each his own as far as that goes. Or, that's the way it was before they outlawed one so called weed some people call Tree.

Being that the male determines the gender of a baby by donating either an X chromosome, or a Y chromosome that are supposedly perfectly balanced in sperm at a 1:1 ratio, it is apparent that we are a mixed bag of tricks, while females are solely of X's, it seems clear that we might be likewise mixed up in the head, but that's what men tend to say of women! Ironic, and maybe I've stated that correctly, but I could be off since I am certainly no doctor except in the recognition of bullsh*t and we've got a lot of that going on, don't we? That of course only adds to the otherwise natural state of confusion we have within ourselves; some more than others and some who have overcome. So, the other day when a young Latina I know walked by saying, "Hi Gabe" as I was eating a bowl of beans and cheese from Fuzzy's Taco Shop, without actually thinking about it I said hello and told her I was eating beans and cheese. I hope this is not some kind of exhibition of assuming a stereotype. I don't even know if she's of Mexican decent. Regardless she replied with exclamation, "EWWW Gross!!!!".

This caught me by surprise at first and then I realized she's Latina, and thought it was funny! So, when she came back by driving in her car her window was down, and I said, "Well, at least I'm not eating steak with ketchup!". She just looked at me funny, like "What are talking about Gabe?" Then she said see you later Bae, and I was like, "What are you talking about?" What's a Bae? Regardless, I'm pretty sure I'm in touch with my inner Mexican too because I do love beans and cheese, specifically pinto beans.

Needless to say, there's a whole lot of judgement going on all the time and that's because judgement is natural. You cannot help but make judgements the key is not to prejudge. So, when the Dali Lami says don't judge based upon the idea of reincarnation and you're not knowing what someone's previous life might have been like to determine their karmacal state, then I'm just saying that's a lot to digest and not as easy on the stomach as beans and cheese, but probably easier than digesting steak with ketchup! So, when this Redneck called me a Jew and it didn't offend me, I did return the intended insult by calling him a Snowflake, that caused him to repeat himself with almost the identical intended insult that didn't offend me in the first place.

I thought about this for a minute and I even thought about continuing the exchange, but did not because I don't have the energy for that kind of exchange. Plus, it's a waste of time when the guy tells me he's not a Snowflake, he's a Republican! This was just too much. I couldn't waste my energy on the attack and instead I wrote this BLAHG! Which now leads me to lunch where since it is 11:24 as I write this and the one of the ladies from the 1st Baptist Church which plays host to the soup kitchen just stopped by because she saw me here writing this. She said, "Me and my husband were just talking about you... We haven't seen you in a long time. Things have gotten better, but I told her I would stop by. By the way, I asked her what was for lunch and you know what she said... A Ham Sandwich with a pack of Crackers among Brothers and Others! (; And, I said, "Well, it's not Beans & Cheese, but Amen"!

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Vhat The F***???

I haven't posted a BLAHG since April 7th, 2017 and I haven't even logged into my blog account, but today I did after realizing last night it had been a minute, or two... or three months since my last post.

If you've ever read any of my stuff, then you've probably heard me mention the fact that my number two group of readers, oddly enough, are Russians. Why? I don't know. I don't speak Russian. I know a few Russians, but the president has more to do with the Russians than I do, in fact!

So, without having logged in for nearly three months, I thought it was funny that we're only six days into July and these are my stats for the month so far...


Entry Pageviews

Russia 147

United States 17

Singapore 2

Canada 1

Malaysia 1


Since everything else is weird these days, I thought I would share this with you. A friend of mine told me it was because of a BLAHG post I made about Dolly Parton that the Russians were reading. I asked him what he meant. He said, Russians love Boobs... 
Doesn't everybody?!?

Na Zdorovie (На здоровье)


Dolly 2020!!!
We need a graphic for this t-shirt. Pre-order now via Pay-Pal!!!  

Hit me up on Facebook...

Friday, April 7, 2017

Fruit In My Grits

I've explained it this way before, but the world is really divided between the world of Hee-Haw and the world of Disneyland. The two world's overlap, but are largely distinct. Steve Martin says, 'Everything you see, or hear, touch, feel... is usable". Disneyland is just a little more my speed! It's just that I am convinced that God loves Hee-Haw!

I fully appreciate that statement as one with the blessing and a curse of being a writer. It is something I must do. I appreciate those who read what I write, but I do it as much for myself as I do for others. Hopefully, I help to make the world a better place. That is my first objective.

Beyond that, if you don't like me, or think I'm strange for putting canteloupe, pineapple, and melon in my hot grits, or that I sometimes like to drink coffee and eat pizza at midnight, that's really your problem. It's harmless and I enjoy it!

Alia Gosheh made a post about getting a different brand of macaroni and cheese than Kraft and it was evidently sub-standard. One guy chimed in and told her she was lazy and that she should make it herself. I responded by saying, 'It's not laziness. It takes the same amount of time to make (real) mac and cheese. It's just thinking outside the box'... quite literally!

So, if I'm a rebel for liking fruit in my grits instead of butter, sue me! Otherwise, try it. You might just like it!


She Rules The World

Angelica Pickles:

She reminds me of at least two people, my X, and the president.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Mexico City?

After watching this video of Mexico City, I thought... this looks like any city, any where. Why would anybody want to immigrate to the USA if it's the same old thing? Why don't almost any Americans want to move somewhere else, like droves of people from other nations seem to want to.

Then I got to thinking, in Athens, GA you can be in the country in five minutes, which is an entirely different world than the city. I imagine the same is true in Mexico, except my imagination includes more desert terrain. So, it makes sense that besides economic opportunity, our lush land is attractive, which flies in the face of businesses who don't seek to protect the environment.

I spent the night in the country last night. This morning when I left and hit the road, I found two aluminum cans and a ball cap thrown in the drive way, which reminds me of my favorite lines I think I ever wrote, Morning Sex in the Parking Deck, inspired when one morning I found a bra, a pair of panties, a bag of tortilla chips, a cup of coffee, not to mention the spent condom, lying there all together. So, of course I had to write a poem.

You can read it here, if you like:

Point being, is it doesn't matter where you come from, the city, or the country, I'm betting most of the people who want to come to America aren't living the lifestyles that the people in this video portray, unless they choose to come here to start a business.

In other words, people are people generally the same wherever you go. There are decent people, and there are trashy people. Not all decent people are rich, and not all decent people are poor. Not all trashy people are poor, but some rich people are trashy, and tacky too.

So, to speak the words of the country, you can put some lipstick on that pig if you want to, but it's still a pig. Does that bring anybody to mind? I think of several... Some are in Washington DC, and some are in Athens, GA. There are some people who are here in this country who like to litter, and I'm betting they don't wash their asses either. In fact, here's a consideration, since we're all hyped up about immigration, what about deportation of some of the trash we have right here, right now? If you throw trash on the ground and you don't wash your ass, you should be deported.  It brings new meaning to being full of sh*t, literally.

The only people you hear of wanting to leave the USA are rich people.  Why is that?  Poor people don't want to leave.  Why would they when it is plainly evident that everybody wants to come here?  Anyway, I'm sure they have homeless people in Mexico City they didn't show us in this video, and I can't explain why some people are full of sh*t and others are genuine people, but one thing I did also learn from this video was that we have better traffic laws!  It's not as bad as India, but those traffic circles are a place of some chaos in Mexico City!

So, if you don't love America for any other reason, then love it for the roads, and bridges, and the general order of traffic!  Traffic sucks, but it could be worse!

God Bless America!  But, will you also please change the trashy people into decent people because there are too many of them.  I ask this in sincerity because we can't seem to do anything about it with our educational system and with all the great technological advancements we've seen in the last hundred years.  May Yeshua advocate for us.  Amen.

It seems like no matter how hard we try people will always piss on the toilet seat, and just leave it for somebody else to clean up!  Heck, you can't even get them to flush the toilet, and these are not environmentalists we're talking about.  If someone wants to leave old piss in their own toilet that's their personal environment, and that's their business, but having personally spent 48 hours in a jail cell with a broken toilet, I can tell you that's not something you would call sanitary.  And, it's so simple.  All you gotta do is push, or pull that handle!

Thursday, March 9, 2017

True Love

I am strongly considering unsubscribing from all news channels and focusing only on true love.  You don't need a news channel for true love unless you're planning a proposal at a major sporting event, and I'm not planning on that.

Trump This!!!