Friday, November 10, 2017

Just Uber It

A man breathing heavily, is severely overweight, and barely making his way up the sidewalk, he's coming from the parking deck.  When he gets to the front gate, he leans up against a column holding his cane and asks, "Can you please call me a cab?"

The attendant says, "Sure, we'll call you a cab."  The gate attendant reaches for his phone to look up taxi cab companies.  When he does, he finds the first company doesn't even answer their phone, and neither did the second one.  Then, his phone started acting goofy.  So, he told the man leaning on the brick column to hold on.  He'd be right back.

He made his way to the box office where there were two attendants.  One of them was free and looked up immediately as he approached with phone in hand saying, "My phone is acting up and there is a man down here needing a taxi cab.  Can you help me out?"

The attendant willingly complies and proceeds to search for taxi cabs.  In the meanwhile, the gate keeper whose name is Will waits for the results.  The box office attendant picks up the phone and dials a number, only to hang up after a few seconds.  Will asked, "Did anybody answer?  Because I tried a couple and nobody answered.  Maybe we should just Uber it?"

Ranna, the girl in the booth responded with, "Well, you have to attach a credit card number to your Uber account.  So, it would need to be his, not yours".

"Ohh", Will understood out loud...

"Can we just call Uber", he wondered...

"No.  You can't call Uber", Ranna said.

"That seems like a business problem, doesn't it", he asked.

"Yeah, it seems like one to me too", she confirmed in agreement.

 Ranna continued to dial for cabbies, and continued to get no answers repeatedly.  Will said, "I guess the taxi cab companies decided if Uber doesn't have to answer their phones, then neither do they!"

She laughed out loud, as she dialed one last cab company...

Finally, somebody answered the phone.  Ranna said, "Yes. We need a cab sent to this address", and then she paused, but only for a second, and then she hung up the phone again.  She looked up at Will as he was asking, "What did they say?".

Ranna, just looked at him before bursting into laughter, as she reported, "He said, just Uber it!"

At this point Will backs away also in laughter at the situation, but remembering he is attending to a guest.  So, he makes his way back over to the man who is by this time sitting in a chair provided by another attendant in Will's absence, because it take a village, you know.

He steps up in front of the tired traveler who must have gotten lost in the wrong parking deck, because after Will explained that they couldn't get anybody to answer the phone with the cab companies, he asked, "Where is it you're trying to go Sir?"

The man replied with, "Just across the street to that parking deck over there"...

"Will looked across the street and then back at the man and said, "Why do you want to go over there, and you can't make it that far on foot, huh?"

"No, I can't make it, but that's where I parked", the man explained.

Finally, after processing the whole scene and the information, Will asks for the man's keys and says he'll go get the car for him.  The man said, "My wife is over there sitting in it.  It's in the corner, over there on the side by the entrance". 

Will makes his way over there, finds the car, and the man's wife... and proceeds to start the vehicle after not being able to find the slot for the key for several attempts until the man's wife has to put it in the key slot for him!  Go figure, huh?    Can't make this stuff up, you know.

Anywayz, it all ends well as the clunky Caddi rolled across the street and the man was able to lift himself up and make it to the car as Will held the door for him to get in.  And, away they went never to be heard from again, so far...  Kinda like a day time cabbie anymore.

Just Uber It!

...

Previously Posted:

http://gabenewmanblahgs.blogspot.com/2017/10/cleaning-supplies.html

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Race Relations Personally

Taking a knee is a respectful and peaceful form of protest, but I think it's time we stand together! The point is made. The memory not to be lost. But, at this point I think we should talk about race relations in this decade... or, so. 

This coming from a guy once arrested for causing a disturbance. The call came in reporting a black male was causing a disturbance. They found me. I told the public defender, "L@@K at me! Evidently, there is something wrong with this story. But, I'm definitely in touch with my black side... my feminine side... my Jewish side, but not my gay side! I didn't actually say all that, except for my race side.

Having been incarcerated several times in this Plantation County. I don't think ever once there wasn't some accompanying Hee-Haw, without removing myself from that part of the equation. However, the last time takes the cake...

But, all that is beside the point. Life on the streets ain't easy, but I can tell you one thing. More than one person opened their door to me, and more than once, black folk took me in. I've slept in Bethel Homes, and never heard a gun shot. I've been to Thanksgiving dinner in Monroe's public housing, neat and clean. 

Speaking of clean, here's a link to my latest BLAHG. It has nothing to do with race relations, but it tied together nicely. It has more to do with the Genius of Cleaning Supplies!

So, I'd say race relations are pretty good from my perspective. People truly do treat others with respect. For someone to open their door to you is probably the highest form of respect. And, then... they feed you too?!?! 

What do I do? Try not to make a mess!

Now, let's talk about the jail house and inmate population... 


Jail House Dreams


Previous Post:  The Genius of Cleaning Supplies

http://gabenewmanblahgs.blogspot.com/.../cleaning...

Thursday, October 5, 2017

The Genius of Cleaning Supplies

So, three guys walk into a bar and sit down right next to me. I'm just working on my Sudoku minding my own business for several minutes when one of them gets up to go use the bathroom. Several minutes pass by before he returns only to exclaim, "Whoever runs this place is a genius!" His buddies look at him like, "Huh?"

Eureka moments frequently occur in the bathroom. Just ask our president who makes it clear on a daily basis. Though, only he thinks they're Eureka moments.

So, the guy continues to explain, "I went to use the bathroom and somebody had pissed on the seat and left it" of course. "But, there is a cart in the men's stall that has cleaning supplies on it. So, I cleaned it myself!" His buddies were still dumbfounded, but me, I busted out in laughter!

"Thanks for the bathroom humor", I told him. "I'm gonna write a BLAHG because of it. This will be a very short BLAHG, but since it happened at the Blind Pig Tavern, I thought I would again point you to my previous post of the Blind Pig Rules of the House! They could add one more, and say, "And, if someone pisses on the toilet seat clean it up! Here's the supplies!"

Meanwhile, the time goes by and it's closing time. The Blind Pig kitchen closes at 10pm. Mary Katherin, one of the bartenders/wait staff was working that night. She's back and forth doing her thing trying to close things out for the day in her saddle oxfords she always wears because if you went to Catholic School for eighteen years you might wear your saddle oxfords every day too even though you're a few years past graduation and in college.

Now, the first time I met Mary Katherin, and I saw her wearing those shoes, I asked her, "Are you Catholic? Because, you remind me of that character Mary Katherine Gallager. I mean really, you could be sisters", to which she seemed to agree as she acknowledged she knew who the character was. Turns out, Mary Katherin grew up in the same "neighborhood" as I did, at least during my teens. It's always cool when you meet somebody who knows where you're from, you know? Plus, when she's an Irish Catholic School Girl that looks like Molly Shannon and serves me beer, I gotta write this stuff down!

Mary Katherin, like I said, was busy running around closing up for the day, in her saddle oxfords, on a freshly mopped floor putting out the yellow Piso Mojado Wet Floor signs when all of a sudden, I heard a thud. Everyone stopped and looked and people started to gather around her. Mary Katherin had taken an ironic spill on that wet floor while putting out the warning signs!

She's laying there flat on her back saying, "I'm okay, everybody back off. Just let me..." get her bearings straight is what she was alluding to as she sat up and then came to her feet before shedding a few tears of pain and probably what was some embarrassment. It's okay Mary Katherin! You're a tough cookie!

So, do yourselves a favor... Read these BLIND PIG HOUSE RULES, and watch this video by clicking through the link below. It's more bathroom humor! Then, pay a visit to the Blind Pig in Downtown Athens, one of three locations in Athens. Come witness a great staff of people including Mary Katherin, who truly serve the customer, even though the customer is NOT always right! And, remember, as usual, tip your bartenders and wait staff! That's a RULE, GENIUS!

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/black-angel-mary-katherine/3505930?snl=1

...

If you like this BLAHG, BLAHG, BLAHG feel free to SHARE it with your friends!  I need more eyeballs!

The Latest BLAHG:


Race Relations Personally

BLAHG On!!!

Get Your Non-Skid Saddle Oxfords Here!!!

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Irma

Well folks, I made it to the stage for Rabbit Box at the Foundry on Wednesday night! What a great experience that was after dreading it for the month prior. I started by telling them that it was just another dose of public humiliation... and I started off with a laugh I didn't know I was going to get! It ended well too landing on exactly eight minutes with a CHEER for an announcement I had made as to success after failure!

Much of life is made of hope and disappointment, but it is also made up of fear and relief. Kinda like what happened with Irma when Harvey had already caused the damage in Houston, Irma suddenly appeared with two others Jose and Katia! For a minute there it seemed like we were doomed! Katia hit Mexico and has dissipated to a tropical storm with 40 a mile winds while Jose drifted back out to sea, but is not setting its sites on the same Caribbean islands that have just suffered Irmas wrath. Buckle your seat belts people! This is shaping up to be a very intense hurricane season!

Irma made her mark in Athens. A tree fell on what was my bedroom! Fortunately, I wasn't there. See, I have been living in a cabin in the woods since February of this year. The first thing I recognized when I took occupancy was that the place was surrounded by trees. So, with this storm brewing Tuesday night through Wednesday morning, I found some place else to stay for fear that trees would be falling. Was I ever right??? Right on my bedroom to be exact! I took it as a sign, it was time to move along. Plus, it's going to take several weeks to remedy the situation. So, I've been staying with a friend. 

Coincidentally, right after I received a phone call notifying me that the tree had fallen on my bedroom, I had to suspend disbelief for a moment... When I did, a few moments later, and strangely coincidentally, my phone rang again. Only this time, it was the Bigger Vision Winter Shelter where I spent the last three years out of the cold. They wanted to talk to me about some things and my situation.

I asked Andrew, the Director, if he knew my current situation and what had just happened. He said, "No. What's going on?" I said, "A tree just fell on my bedroom where I've been staying since February". Anyway, I asked when he would be there and we agreed to meet the next morning. When we did, we discussed several options. I had called him a couple of weeks ago looking for extra work as part of the staff this time. He presented me with three different options and I'm right now trying to decide what's going to work best! From fear, to relief, just like getting up there the other night and telling my story of the street life I've lived in Athens, Ga for much of the last decade.

So, when I had told my brief story of the fact that I had grown up pretty much in the country and had spent a lot of time in the woods, only that it was at the country club, and much of my time in the woods was spent looking for golf balls... to then find myself on the streets of Athens, GA, regardless of how, or why I got there... it drew a start contrast and left a question mark in their minds. See, I've been told more than once I don't look like a homeless person, and that's probably because I don't. I know this because to this day, I still have street people who ask me for money. After years of living in the same boat, eating at the same soup kitchen, there is one particular street person, a black woman in fact, who almost never fails to ask me for money. I've gotten to the point where I just act like I don't hear her, but I'm pretty sure she thinks all white people look alike!

She's a crack head anyway, as most people on the streets who ask for money are just trying to fund their fixes. My advice, knowing full well you cannot starve in this town from a lack of food unless you're just so damned lazy to walk a couple of blocks to the soup kitchen twice a day. Beyond that, the guys sitting there holding signs get so much food given to them, they don't have to walk! But, your kind provision just enables the "ugliness of Irma" to stain the streets of downtown Athens. When even hurricanes go away, beggars remain. Don't give to panhandlers, and that's coming from a street person! I just never asked anybody for a dime. Give it to a street performer instead, and if you want a cool bracelet from a bicycle spoke, give me a call!


Where one tree has fallen, another one grows! Thanks to places like Bigger Vision, and the Northeast Georgia food bank, the poor, and even the working poor are enabled to maintain a level of dignity without making it necessary to beg. The beggars on these streets represent the same level of BS that we get out of DC on a daily basis. They're just not wearing suits and ties. Certainly, BS is part of politics and even life. It is clear. It's just that we should seek to minimize it instead of maximizing it.

Even Bernie knows $15 an hour as the minimum wage will only create a reaction in the market through automation, or higher prices and it wouldn't make a difference. One study indicated people actually lost income because of reduced hours. It's just something people like to hear and it gets votes. The problem is apparent that prices have so far outpaced wages a person can't make it on forty hours a week in an era where employers only want to give you thirty hours a week. It requires two different jobs in order to begin to make ends meet. We must aim higher as individuals before we demand the market pay us what it won't at a minimum.

As a minimalist, I'm not complaining too much about having to work without being able to afford the lavish lifestyle of a Trump. But, because of this fact, we have resources that do enable people to survive without the act of begging.

See you next time at Rabbit Box! https://rabbitbox.org/




Friday, September 15, 2017

Irma

Well folks, I made it to the stage for Rabbit Box at the Foundry on Wednesday night! What a great experience that was after dreading it for the month prior. I started by telling them that it was just another dose of public humiliation... and I started off with a laugh I didn't know I was going to get! It ended well too landing on exactly eight minutes with a CHEER for an announcement I had made as to success after failure!

Much of life is made of hope and disappointment, but it is also made up of fear and relief. Kinda like what happened with Irma when Harvey had already caused the damage in Houston, Irma suddenly appeared with two others Jose and Katia! For a minute there it seemed like we were doomed! Katia hit Mexico and has dissipated to a tropical storm with 40 a mile winds while Jose drifted back out to sea, but is not setting its sites on the same Caribbean islands that have just suffered Irmas wrath. Buckle your seat belts people! This is shaping up to be a very intense hurricane season!

Irma made her mark in Athens. A tree fell on what was my bedroom! Fortunately, I wasn't there. See, I have been living in a cabin in the woods since February of this year. The first thing I recognized when I took occupancy was that the place was surrounded by trees. So, with this storm brewing Tuesday night through Wednesday morning, I found some place else to stay for fear that trees would be falling. Was I ever right??? Right on my bedroom to be exact! I took it as a sign, it was time to move along. Plus, it's going to take several weeks to remedy the situation. So, I've been staying with a friend. 

Coincidentally, right after I received a phone call notifying me that the tree had fallen on my bedroom, I had to suspend disbelief for a moment... When I did, a few moments later, and strangely coincidentally, my phone rang again. Only this time, it was the Bigger Vision Winter Shelter where I spent the last three years out of the cold. They wanted to talk to me about some things and my situation.

I asked Andrew, the Director, if he knew my current situation and what had just happened. He said, "No. What's going on?" I said, "A tree just fell on my bedroom where I've been staying since February". Anyway, I asked when he would be there and we agreed to meet the next morning. When we did, we discussed several options. I had called him a couple of weeks ago looking for extra work as part of the staff this time. He presented me with three different options and I'm right now trying to decide what's going to work best! From fear, to relief, just like getting up there the other night and telling my story of the street life I've lived in Athens, Ga for much of the last decade.

So, when I had told my brief story of the fact that I had grown up pretty much in the country and had spent a lot of time in the woods, only that it was at the country club, and much of my time in the woods was spent looking for golf balls... to then find myself on the streets of Athens, GA, regardless of how, or why I got there... it drew a start contrast and left a question mark in their minds. See, I've been told more than once I don't look like a homeless person, and that's probably because I don't. I know this because to this day, I still have street people who ask me for money. After years of living in the same boat, eating at the same soup kitchen, there is one particular street person, a black woman in fact, who almost never fails to ask me for money. I've gotten to the point where I just act like I don't hear her, but I'm pretty sure she thinks all white people look alike!

She's a crack head anyway, as most people on the streets who ask for money are just trying to fund their fixes. My advice, knowing full well you cannot starve in this town from a lack of food unless you're just so damned lazy to walk a couple of blocks to the soup kitchen twice a day. Beyond that, the guys sitting there holding signs get so much food given to them, they don't have to walk! But, your kind provision just enables the "ugliness of Irma" to stain the streets of downtown Athens. When even hurricanes go away, beggars remain. Don't give to panhandlers, and that's coming from a street person! I just never asked anybody for a dime. Give it to a street performer instead, and if you want a cool bracelet from a bicycle spoke, give me a call!

For Bicycle Bracelets Click Here!

Where one tree has fallen, another one grows! Thanks to places like Bigger Vision, and the Northeast Georgia food bank, the poor, and even the working poor are enabled to maintain a level of dignity without making it necessary to beg. The beggars on these streets represent the same level of BS that we get out of DC on a daily basis. They're just not wearing suits and ties. Certainly, BS is part of politics and even life. It is clear. It's just that we should seek to minimize it instead of maximizing it.

Even Bernie knows $15 an hour as the minimum wage will only create a reaction in the market through automation, or higher prices and it wouldn't make a difference. One study indicated people actually lost income because of reduced hours. It's just something people like to hear and it gets votes. The problem is apparent that prices have so far out paced wages a person can't make it on forty hours a week in an era where employers only want to give you thirty hours a week. It requires two different jobs in order to begin to make ends meet. We must aim higher as individuals before we demand the market pay us what it won't at a minimum.

As a minimalist, I'm not complaining too much about having to work without being able to afford the lavish lifestyle of a Trump. But, because of this fact, we have resources that do enable people to survive without the act of begging.

See you next time at Rabbit Box! https://rabbitbox.org/

Friday, August 11, 2017

3:33



I stumbled across this MEME seemingly serendipitously and thought to myself it would be pessimistic for me not to share it because I've experienced so many miracles in life I call them Disneyland moments...

Early this morning, I heard a clap of thunder and at exactly 3:33 I was awakened by the loudest clap of thunder I've ever heard in my life. As I stood up you could feel it tremoring in the floor. This is especially important to me and if you've followed my BLAHG posts over the years you know why.

Three is a spiritually significant number not only in Christianity, but in various religions dating back even before Christianity. Three, in my experience, demands attention as the claps of thunder certainly got mine.

The last time a significant moment like that occurred also at 3:33am about four or five years ago. I was asleep, in a dream, when a text message came in. I woke up long enough to respond a couple of times, but it was non-sense. So, I drifted back into a dream when BOOM the sound of what seemed like a gun shot went off in the room and a picture simultaneously fell off the wall. I won't recap the whole story... but it's a doozie of events that just scream out for attention. Kinda like our president...

The time before that I had been out playing pool and stayed out late night. When I arrived home I cranked up the laptop when there she appeared in the form of a Match.com chat window at precisely 3:33am. Normally, I hate chat, and/or pop up ads, but this was an attractive young woman listed as Asian, Jewish, liking smokeless tobacco, and horses. My kinda girl, I say! At least, that's what it said on her Match.com profile. Sounds like a pile of horse manure? Just wait 'til you hear the rest of that story!!!

There was no thunder except for the sound of horses hooves in my imagination. Exactly, what I was looking for... an Asian Jew who likes to chew and go giddy-up! She was from Union Point, GA. I had never heard of Union Point. Have you?

Well, I found out about Union Point, GA after that, but I'm saving the rest of the story for the stage. Next month, on September 13th, I'm going to tell a story of "Toils and Troubles" at Rabbit Box where I was invited to share not only a story, but a true story! Don't worry... It's rated G! The "G" stands for Galaxy, but you'll have to wait to find out why!

Thanks for reading! Now, come hear me speak. I just hope my voice isn't scratchy because his seems to be very clear. Though, I guess it could be my imagination.

...

Friend Me!!! And, if you don't, that's ok too!!!

http://facebook.com/newman.gabe

P.S. I don't know why every now an then BLOGSPOT posts sometimes creates larger than normal spacing between paragraphs. I try to correct it but it is un-repsonsive to my requests. It's like at work and with all the machines I work with. I am convinced God uses computers, and "God's gift to comedy", largely to teach us patience.

Peace to you!

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Beans & Cheese

I have found less stress by not watching the news. Although, I did use the word "retarded" the other day to describe the situation we face in this nation at which point someone attacked me for using the word in it's informal offensive sense describing the situation and not a person. So, the guy got mad and called me a Jew, among other things, and actually a Queer Jew because I had used the word "retarded". I was not offended, but he would have been if I called him a Jew, because he was a Redneck. Though I didn't resort to calling him a Redneck, I'm telling you he was. The difference is I've often identified with my Jewish side, just as I identify with my Black side, and heck I might as well admit I identify with my feminine side too, but not my gay side!! Therez no gay side to identify with. I don't understand that behavior. As far as the feminine side goes, anybody who has a heart can identify with that. The difference is as a male, you learn to think past the heart more often than you are controlled by it. 

The Black side identification only comes from exposure to black culture, and the same could be said of the Redneck side which I have exhibited some tendencies in my lifetime dating back to high school where I dipped Skoal and wore my ball cap backwards. Backward cap wearing crosses over cultures, and is primarily concentrated among middle to upper class kids, but has no racial barriers, as just the other day I encountered a Pakistani man wearing his hat backwards eating a bean and cheese burrito with ketchup.

Apparently, Ketchup is also one of those things that crosses cultural lines like wearing your hat backwards. The point of all this is simply for a matter of perspective. You cannot truly judge anyone who likes ketchup or wears their hat backwards. It's a matter of preference similar to the way we view weeds. Weeds are a matter of opinion and to each his own as far as that goes. Or, that's the way it was before they outlawed one so called weed some people call Tree.

Being that the male determines the gender of a baby by donating either an X chromosome, or a Y chromosome that are supposedly perfectly balanced in sperm at a 1:1 ratio, it is apparent that we are a mixed bag of tricks, while females are solely of X's, it seems clear that we might be likewise mixed up in the head, but that's what men tend to say of women! Ironic, and maybe I've stated that correctly, but I could be off since I am certainly no doctor except in the recognition of bullsh*t and we've got a lot of that going on, don't we? That of course only adds to the otherwise natural state of confusion we have within ourselves; some more than others and some who have overcome. So, the other day when a young Latina I know walked by saying, "Hi Gabe" as I was eating a bowl of beans and cheese from Fuzzy's Taco Shop, without actually thinking about it I said hello and told her I was eating beans and cheese. I hope this is not some kind of exhibition of assuming a stereotype. I don't even know if she's of Mexican decent. Regardless she replied with exclamation, "EWWW Gross!!!!".
 

This caught me by surprise at first and then I realized she's Latina, and thought it was funny! So, when she came back by driving in her car her window was down, and I said, "Well, at least I'm not eating steak with ketchup!". She just looked at me funny, like "What are talking about Gabe?" Then she said see you later Bae, and I was like, "What are you talking about?" What's a Bae? Regardless, I'm pretty sure I'm in touch with my inner Mexican too because I do love beans and cheese, specifically pinto beans.

Needless to say, there's a whole lot of judgement going on all the time and that's because judgement is natural. You cannot help but make judgements the key is not to prejudge. So, when the Dali Lami says don't judge based upon the idea of reincarnation and you're not knowing what someone's previous life might have been like to determine their karmacal state, then I'm just saying that's a lot to digest and not as easy on the stomach as beans and cheese, but probably easier than digesting steak with ketchup! So, when this Redneck called me a Jew and it didn't offend me, I did return the intended insult by calling him a Snowflake, that caused him to repeat himself with almost the identical intended insult that didn't offend me in the first place.

I thought about this for a minute and I even thought about continuing the exchange, but did not because I don't have the energy for that kind of exchange. Plus, it's a waste of time when the guy tells me he's not a Snowflake, he's a Republican! This was just too much. I couldn't waste my energy on the attack and instead I wrote this BLAHG! Which now leads me to lunch where since it is 11:24 as I write this and the one of the ladies from the 1st Baptist Church which plays host to the soup kitchen just stopped by because she saw me here writing this. She said, "Me and my husband were just talking about you... We haven't seen you in a long time. Things have gotten better, but I told her I would stop by. By the way, I asked her what was for lunch and you know what she said... A Ham Sandwich with a pack of Crackers among Brothers and Others! (; And, I said, "Well, it's not Beans & Cheese, but Amen"!

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Vhat The F***???


I haven't posted a BLAHG since April 7th, 2017 and I haven't even logged into my blog account, but today I did after realizing last night it had been a minute, or two... or three months since my last post.

If you've ever read any of my stuff, then you've probably heard me mention the fact that my number two group of readers, oddly enough, are Russians. Why? I don't know. I don't speak Russian. I know a few Russians, but the president has more to do with the Russians than I do, in fact!

So, without having logged in for nearly three months, I thought it was funny that we're only six days into July and these are my stats for the month so far...

------------------------------

Entry Pageviews

Russia 147

United States 17

Singapore 2

Canada 1

Malaysia 1

------------------------------

Since everything else is weird these days, I thought I would share this with you. A friend of mine told me it was because of a BLAHG post I made about Dolly Parton that the Russians were reading. I asked him what he meant. He said, Russians love Boobs... 
Doesn't everybody?!?

Na Zdorovie (На здоровье)

~Gabe

Dolly 2020!!!
Front
 Back
We need a graphic for this t-shirt. Pre-order now via Pay-Pal!!!  

Hit me up on Facebook...

https://www.facebook.com/newman.gabe



Friday, April 7, 2017

Fruit In My Grits

I've explained it this way before, but the world is really divided between the world of Hee-Haw and the world of Disneyland. The two world's overlap, but are largely distinct. Steve Martin says, 'Everything you see, or hear, touch, feel... is usable". Disneyland is just a little more my speed! It's just that I am convinced that God loves Hee-Haw!

I fully appreciate that statement as one with the blessing and a curse of being a writer. It is something I must do. I appreciate those who read what I write, but I do it as much for myself as I do for others. Hopefully, I help to make the world a better place. That is my first objective.

Beyond that, if you don't like me, or think I'm strange for putting canteloupe, pineapple, and melon in my hot grits, or that I sometimes like to drink coffee and eat pizza at midnight, that's really your problem. It's harmless and I enjoy it!

Alia Gosheh made a post about getting a different brand of macaroni and cheese than Kraft and it was evidently sub-standard. One guy chimed in and told her she was lazy and that she should make it herself. I responded by saying, 'It's not laziness. It takes the same amount of time to make (real) mac and cheese. It's just thinking outside the box'... quite literally!

So, if I'm a rebel for liking fruit in my grits instead of butter, sue me! Otherwise, try it. You might just like it!

Mahalo

https://www.facebook.com/masterclassofficial/videos/1332686643489763/

She Rules The World

Angelica Pickles:

She reminds me of at least two people, my X, and the president.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Mexico City?

After watching this video of Mexico City, I thought... this looks like any city, any where. Why would anybody want to immigrate to the USA if it's the same old thing? Why don't almost any Americans want to move somewhere else, like droves of people from other nations seem to want to.

Then I got to thinking, in Athens, GA you can be in the country in five minutes, which is an entirely different world than the city. I imagine the same is true in Mexico, except my imagination includes more desert terrain. So, it makes sense that besides economic opportunity, our lush land is attractive, which flies in the face of businesses who don't seek to protect the environment.

I spent the night in the country last night. This morning when I left and hit the road, I found two aluminum cans and a ball cap thrown in the drive way, which reminds me of my favorite lines I think I ever wrote, Morning Sex in the Parking Deck, inspired when one morning I found a bra, a pair of panties, a bag of tortilla chips, a cup of coffee, not to mention the spent condom, lying there all together. So, of course I had to write a poem.

You can read it here, if you like:


Point being, is it doesn't matter where you come from, the city, or the country, I'm betting most of the people who want to come to America aren't living the lifestyles that the people in this video portray, unless they choose to come here to start a business.

In other words, people are people generally the same wherever you go. There are decent people, and there are trashy people. Not all decent people are rich, and not all decent people are poor. Not all trashy people are poor, but some rich people are trashy, and tacky too.

So, to speak the words of the country, you can put some lipstick on that pig if you want to, but it's still a pig. Does that bring anybody to mind? I think of several... Some are in Washington DC, and some are in Athens, GA. There are some people who are here in this country who like to litter, and I'm betting they don't wash their asses either. In fact, here's a consideration, since we're all hyped up about immigration, what about deportation of some of the trash we have right here, right now? If you throw trash on the ground and you don't wash your ass, you should be deported.  It brings new meaning to being full of sh*t, literally.

The only people you hear of wanting to leave the USA are rich people.  Why is that?  Poor people don't want to leave.  Why would they when it is plainly evident that everybody wants to come here?  Anyway, I'm sure they have homeless people in Mexico City they didn't show us in this video, and I can't explain why some people are full of sh*t and others are genuine people, but one thing I did also learn from this video was that we have better traffic laws!  It's not as bad as India, but those traffic circles are a place of some chaos in Mexico City!

So, if you don't love America for any other reason, then love it for the roads, and bridges, and the general order of traffic!  Traffic sucks, but it could be worse!

God Bless America!  But, will you also please change the trashy people into decent people because there are too many of them.  I ask this in sincerity because we can't seem to do anything about it with our educational system and with all the great technological advancements we've seen in the last hundred years.  May Yeshua advocate for us.  Amen.

It seems like no matter how hard we try people will always piss on the toilet seat, and just leave it for somebody else to clean up!  Heck, you can't even get them to flush the toilet, and these are not environmentalists we're talking about.  If someone wants to leave old piss in their own toilet that's their personal environment, and that's their business, but having personally spent 48 hours in a jail cell with a broken toilet, I can tell you that's not something you would call sanitary.  And, it's so simple.  All you gotta do is push, or pull that handle!




Thursday, March 9, 2017

True Love



I am strongly considering unsubscribing from all news channels and focusing only on true love.  You don't need a news channel for true love unless you're planning a proposal at a major sporting event, and I'm not planning on that.

Trump This!!!

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Make America Grateful Again




He has been so often misquoted, I really didn't think he'd mind my putting a few words in his mouth.

~Gabe

Monday, February 27, 2017

Out Of The Hood





And, still some took me in from the streets and fed me and gave me a place to rest, when my own just left me there sitting, not only for days, but for years. I don't want to give you the "victim of circumstance" routine, but there are people who are victims.

I do consider I am largely a product of my decisions, but just as one man cannot lift himself up without the aid of others, neither does one man usually fall down all on his own, unless he's drunk and can't walk.

I probably should not post this, but I'm going to anyway, because I've spent the better part of ten years in poverty. And, though I am not totally sympathetic to all of the impoverished, even having lived it, I am also not a fool especially when it comes to the black experience. It has been said, it's good to have a social safety net, but people are stuck in it. And, I would say, everybody can't be a rock star.

I call it McMansion Capitalism, to distinguish it from a better form where greed is not a great capitalist trait, like bullsh*t seems to be as well. Then, I think to myself it's always been this way. So, I lose my zeal for change, leaving me at this point I just re-read after five years, but I don't know where it comes from.  Only since I've clicked through a link the reminder post has vanished.

It was an entire paragraph on how kings have lamented through time over their rise to power only to find themselves wanting neither poverty nor riches, but to live somewhere in the middle. I don't know what book it came from, but I never read it. It was just the opening statement that caught my attention because it encapsulates my feelings, never having been a king, or truly impoverished; I mean truly impoverished.

Knowing full well that trickle down economics is a myth, we have all agreed on the right and the left to the welfare state, because if true trickle down were to live on it's own without those who pick up the slack in churches and through welfare benefits, our poor would look a lot more like those in starving Ethiopia than they do here.

The real issue involved with black on black crimes, as this piece alludes to, are drugs, which provoke the killings in many cases. Or, has always been the case, killing over a woman, or jealously. I know I'm being one sided in talking about males, but I think the statistics support what I'm saying. The same is true in the modern white community. Crack, and Meth and Ice are turning people of all colors into monsters.

I would never advocate getting rid of beer.  I love beer, but alcoholism is bad enough.  It's particularly bad because it doesn't even make you want to do anything. At least a crack head might want to work, but after they become so hooked that becomes and impossibility. So, the real problem is in substance abuse, and the money that is made from it because there doesn't seem to be any upward mobility. Especially for black folk, that has always been the case.

These days, where I'm from, it seems like the best you can do is $9 per hour for anybody, whatever color. That's a bit of an exaggeration because some make better money than that, but by and large you're lucky if you even get $9 per hour. Basically, prices have far outpaced wages, but that was true before I was born. I remember having a conversation with my grandmother about this very issue when she was telling me what the price of a home was when she was young, and how much money she made.

Prices have far outpaced wages, and that's when the bubble bursts and somebody like Donald Trump is elected by telling everyone he's going to give back what his greed has already taken away, all while blaming it on somebody else, like Mexicans, or brown people in general. Unfortunately, this is also when things can turn to violence and before weaponry had far outpaced the weaponry of the common man, we would have already had a revolution by now. Instead, we get riots and violence in the streets because a violent revolution is not even a a viable option.  Any fool can see that.  We require a revolution of the minds.

So, since we cannot promise everybody they'll grow out of the hood, or out of poverty, then the best we can do is to attack these drugs that are truly turning people into monsters. It's not about raising the minimum wage. It's about healing people, and this is a battle for the soul. Is religion the answer? We have enough religion to make a dyslexic believer in dog sick. But, for those who are affected by this the most, the people who live in the "hoods" we've gotta stop the drugs, which means not make everybody think they need a mansion, and not to Make America Great Again, but to Make America Grateful Again.

We have spent years trying to motivate people by making them feel like losers, one of Trump's favorite words. Our society in general takes pleasure in the misfortune of others. Talk about systemics! But, this truly starts with an attitude of gratitude for what we have here in America. Not only is the leadership ungrateful, but so are the people and we all live like kings.

I'm not saying there aren't problems, but everybody can't be rock star. This mentality is what needs to end. Sure, it's good to dream but how about some realistic goals. Even at $9 per hour, you can afford to get a place of your own. You might not have any money for drugs, but you can pay rent. You might not be able to afford a car, but you can afford bus fare, or a bike. Heck, I'm doing it and I used to make nearly a hundred thousand a year, and that wasn't enough either. It never is unless you have some sense of gratitude that governs your life, and even your desires. We don't need any more religion, but I thank my God I was born in America, even though I've been living on the streets.  I'm not on the streets anymore, and I'm very grateful for that, especially when one particular person had enough faith in me to give me a lift.

I also know it's hard to find work, especially if you feel shunned, but this is when a village has to come together. Turn off the tv, and do what you can to make the world a better place. I'm not saying you should go hug your neighborhood crack dealer today, but that's the first thing we need to be worried with. Whatever it takes to get rid of these kinds of substances it needs to be done. People literally die before your very eyes as you witness their teeth fall out of their mouths and their skin turn to blisters, and sores. And, they're willing to beg, borrow and steal for it, not to mention kill, and it doesn't matter what color they are.

This might stimulate debate, but our issues in this country largely stem from psychological mismanagement of the masses. See, it covers both sides of the coin.

The homeless in Athens, represent less than half of half of one percent of the population. Chew on that for a minute, and yes, I don't think anybody should be homeless, but frontiersmen lived outside for years. Some people simply choose to do it. It has been an uphill battle for me. I grew up largely in the country, but it was at the country club. I am not frontiersman, and I have no desire to live in a tent. That's why I never pitched one, and probably why I got locked up as much as I did because I was an urban dweller. What I also never did is give up, and you will never see me sitting on that bridge across the street from the shelter in the morning, or the afternoon, or at night. That's a matter of personal dignity.
 

I might not ever have a mansion, but I don't care! I just don't ever want to be poor and in America that's a state of mind, which means being born somewhere else than here because I don't see it the same way as others. We can agree on the lack of upward mobility, but as long as there are kings, or wealthy people we will have classes, and I just don't see money going away.

It's not so bad here, and I am grateful to have survived street life, and to have lived it in Athens instead of Chicago, or New York. I know there's a difference, but I've spoken with people from those areas and they have soup kitchens too. It's just they have a lot more street people. I just still believe that so much of it has to do with attitude, and we have created an attitude of greed at the bottom and the top. How do you fix that? Sure would be nice to have a magic wand with that question, but this truly is a matter of the heart and soul.

Certainly, it starts in the schools, and I DO NOT support religion in schools, but the same character building that religion offers can be offered in such a way as to have a positive effect. You just have to frame it in such a way to make people see they gotta stay on their lily pads. And, right now we've got them hopping all over the place.  One more thing... Boot Camp for every eighteen year old might be the greatest mandate ever.  Since we're into mandating some things people have to buy, let's mandate some discipline and breed some manners.

Mahalo

Friday, February 3, 2017

Jesus



I have just started trying to answer that question in the last ten years. It always perplexed me. How can a bunch of church people who drive shiny new cars, and hoard all the cash hang a picture of a guy on their wall wearing a robe and a beard, while wearing suits and ties. Quite honestly, from the conservative perspective, I think it serves as a reminder for them of what they could consider to be a terrorist.

Christ threatened the establishment. He was against greed, but he was not a socialist. Just read the parable of the talents and it is clear he was a capitalist, comparing the kingdom of heaven and entry to those who manage their resources well. Two men grew their "talents", while one man buried his in the ground. The one, was dismissed for a form of irresponsibility, and really a form of hoarding, if you think about it, but on the lower side of the equation.

But, the powers that were, still are today. So, they crucified him as the governing elite went through the crowd asking for another person to be released from jail even though Pontius Pilot declared him innocent... before having him crucified. These sales people for the establishment swayed public opinion and Jesus lost. The other part of the story included something called the resurrection, but for the sake of this post and understanding modern American Christianity, it has truly become centered around "stuff", and a way of life dangled before others as something to aspire toward, but seldom achieved by most. It is largely generational, and almost predetermined.

But, you have to be careful with that because as I've recognized from my journey on the streets our poor in America are hardly poor compared to others around the world. We have plenty of poor minded people, but nobody lies in the dirt, hoping for a cup of rice at the end of the day, unless s/he is a moron.

From the Liberal perspective, as I understand it, Christ is also viewed as a rebel, an agent for change, but Liberals are often socialists, which to me does not match up with the teachings of Christ. If anything, in my opinion, he was a capitalist, with compassion and modesty. He was not, as I call it, a Mansion Capitalist. In fact, by his own words, grossly misinterpreted in English from the original Greek, and Latin root, he is translated as saying, 'In my father's house there are many mansions', in English. But, the Greek and Latin words translated as "mansions", even today do not mean some monstrosity of a house. It means dwelling place, or basically a home.

Not very long ago, American families lived in multi-generational homes they kept for lifetimes. We didn't have this trade up until you get the castle mentality, and carry a mortgage forever too. It did not exist, because America was a much more modest country. You can see the change in the comedy scene as well. Comedy used to be "clean", except for literary techniques like innuendo. Today, we have almost obligatory blatant fart, penis, vagina & masturbation jokes from some of the top comedians. Call me a prude. I don't really care. That's why I don't rush to grab the mic, because the audiences seem to love that stuff these days.

In the last 100 years the face of this nation has changed. I don't know that the governing elite have changed all that much. Greed has always existed, but it has permeated our society from the top down.

So, while there are rich Liberals, many I've known tend to be less materialistic people. That's not to say there aren't modest conservatives. It's also not to say your wealth shouldn't be guarded and protected. You would be a fool to give your money away in the name of building homes for the homeless without requiring their work investment. Otherwise, many, if not most will just piss all over it. I've live among them for the past decade. I've gotten quite an education, but I have not gotten a bleeding heart.

Yes, we need welfare and soup kitchens, and I believe in taking care of the poor as Christ taught, but not in the form of simple handouts, and much more in the form of nourishment... that being nourishment of the soul. To a very large degree you have the truly impoverished walking around like zombies, often ill mannered, and very ill equipped to compete in today's job market. We need welfare, as a matter of American dignity, but we also need welfare reform. It is an abused system where people get checks and still choose to live outside so they can buy drugs. It's a fact.

So, put a bandage on that bleeding heart if you have one. As Americans we have a responsibility to try and lift people up, or at least we should. The "Get A Job" mentality is just as wrong as the "I Feel Sorry For You", mentality. Yet, our two political camps exacerbate these mindsets into overlooking the true solutions.

Education is key, but you have an entire generation of people say from 40 to 60 who had computers thrown out there but without any orientation for them to be used effectively. Talk to someone over 40 and try to get them to text message you. All too often, they will say they don't know how, or they don't do that as if it's somehow profane. 40 might not be the best age example, but you know what I'm saying. We have people who should be equipped with certain technological skills, and should be in the workforce that don't know how to use a word processor, spreadsheets, or presentation programs. I know business owners to this day who still don't even advertise online.

We also have lost the agricultural jobs to a large degree leaving many people who if you did teach them computer skills still stranded because there are only so many video games you can develop, but the earth is always there to be worked. We just use machines to work it instead. It's a trying time no doubt.

What are we supposed to do with all these people who don't work? I think everyone should be required to work if the get benefits. It adds character. I'm not saying cut benefits. Maintain the benefits and let them climb out of public housing. Supplement their less than sufficient incomes of minimum wage by continuing the benefits, but at least require work. There are way too many people wandering around every day just trying to get effed up, and they don't even try to make a better life for themselves. They'd rather walk around and ask people for cigarettes and spare change than work for $7 and hour, because they have been conditioned to that by our "social safety" net.

Just recently the state of Georgia has required food stamps recipients to work if they are of a certain age and able. There isn't anything wrong with that, and I can't believe I even suggested someone might think there is something wrong with that by making that statement, but it is and should have already been a requirement. You can find a job of some kind. You might not make a 100k a year from it, but at least it will instill a work ethic. When I first visited the soup kitchen I stood outside with a guy who tole me point blank, "Why should I go find a job? They already "give" me this much a month." That's wrong, and it's also NOT SOCIALISM because even SOCIALISM requires work. It's WELFARE. There is a big difference, but does everybody really deserve and equal share.

Socialism stifles creativity, overlooks the individual, and spreads the bounty evenly... IF IT EVEN EXISTED. It doesn't. Neither does Laissez-Faire economics. We have a balanced system. It just needs a few tweeks, but if you're an American you MUST believe in the individual. If you have a great idea to make the world better in some way, then you should be rewarded. If you just sit around and live off the crumbs that don't leave you lying around in the dirt like a starving Ethiopian, then so be it, but you shouldn't get a check if you're not even willing to flip burgers.

So, I know I went on a rant, but I have pretty much concluded that both Conservatives and Liberals today view Jesus as a sort of hippie, and I don't see him that way from what I've read. Everyone wore robes and sandals back then, even soldiers. The clothing has changed and that's why I liked what Pope Francis did with the modernized depiction of Jesus wearing blues jeans and sneakers. We get stuck in images in our minds that come from a book that doesn't even have any pictures. One thing is for sure, I don't think he was a hippie, but he was of the people, Oh Son of Man! It is debatable what that phrase really means, but I think we still use it today, but we have shortened it to a simple "Man".

Man, oh man, oh man, man please, can we just stop the greed?

...

Greed at the bottom, greed at the top
Suits and ties, suits and ties not
Greed at the bottom, greed at the top
Walk down the street, you see it everywhere
People sittin' on the corners asking you to share
People sittin' in mansions want another over there
People on the corners with government checks, from the
People in the mansions the one percent UP
People sittin' on the corners after free lunch
Sayin' gimme, gimme, gimme, just one of your bucks
Lunch might be free, but the crack is not
Greed at the bottom, greed at the top
People in the mansions say get your own
Let the crumbs fall straight... straight to the ground
The ground where people sleep because the shelter is full
The ground with the side walks meant for us all
The ground with the homeless and citizens
The ground where the homeless miss the trash bin
Greed at the bottom, greed at the top
It's a two way street, like it or not
One way says another, and another says not
Greed at the bottom, greed at the top
It's a two way street, with one lane blocked
Greed at the bottom, greed at the top
Suits and ties, suits and ties not
Where's my mansion, some of us ask
Where's my golden shower in the forecast
Where are my women, and where is my bed
Mansion capitalism, at its best
Greed at the bottom, greed at the top
People want more and won't ever stop

...

Sorry, I got on a roll and couldn't stop! It's like greed on this keyboard, but if that's my greed, then why not?

RESIST GREED

Read 1st World Problems:

http://gabenewmanblahgs.blogspot.com/2016/11/1st-world-problems.html



February 13, 2017
Jesus Journal Entry


After being perplexed by this most recent election, and after seeing a post from a "Christian" friend of mine asking whether or not Los Angeles would be destroyed if the Oroville Dam burst, I had this reply.  By the time I finished writing this, her post had been removed, but I thought it was of value.  I am going to start to call this BLAHG section my "Jesus Journal" since I have spent so much of my life affected by my exposure to Christianity in America where for the longest time I couldn't make it match up with scripture, but that is when you learn the true meaning of grace!  Grace is not something that matches up to our failures like punishment.  It is undeserved, unmerited favor instead of the punishment we deserve.

...

Will Los Angeles be destroyed if the Oroville Dam bursts?

I have said some things, hopefully without hate, that seem like plausible conclusions, such as Trump won't make it four years, either by impeachment, assassination, or heart attack; but what I would rather say, call it a prayer, is for the minds of the governing elite to be "renewed".

He has brought out the "ugly" in everyone, which I believe is his aim. He is a troublemaker, from the Department of Piss People Off playing the oldest game known to man and people still want to play it. The name of the game is BS, and hyperbole. Those who come from the Department of Peace can see right through this. These are the only two kinds of people there really are in the entire world.

I have had many dealings with people from the DOPPO in my life. It is where I learned to "turn the other cheek", so to speak, because they do not cause any physical harm. Their torment is by psychological means. They enjoy nothing more than to agitate, and it comes from across the political spectrum. I have met feminists who so often have underlying anger issues, for what may, or may not be for valid reasons. I have met conservatives, who "hate" anything they deem to be from the left, even though they cannot identify particular reasons to hate a certain position other than the fact it isn't their own.

The first problem is in thinking we can identify ourselves with the "truth" from one party or the other. From the left, an emphasis on the environment which should be equally endearing to those on the right, falls way down the list of concerns, below abortion, and the economy, when we don't have any life, or economy without the environment.

But, this is the game we play. The saying says, don't hate the player, hate the game. The beauty of America comes in it's anonymity to definition. We have only a vague reference to God in our two most cherished documents, no clear theocratic description, and that is by intention. So, if we don't like the game we play as it changes over time, we can play a new game. We have that right, and freedom, and it is built by consensus. However, it is only supported when our elected representatives truly represent that consensus.

It is plainly evident among the voting public we are nearly equally divided within just a couple of percentage points, while 1/3 of our nation doesn't even bother to vote. So, two-thirds of us are playing the game from the right or the left, while 1/3 do not participate. What does that say? This 1/3 don't start bloody revolutions, or massacres. So, for the most part, they must be content living their lives not placing any value in the political system. Some of this 1/3 of the population are educated and intelligent people, and some of them are not, but either way, they don't see any reason to vote. Life must be good, or at least good enough. It brings new meaning to the saying, "It doesn't get any better than this", or it's "As good as it gets!" as Jack Nicholson reminded us, in a movie about people with psychiatric disorders.

This life can be a living hell, or a living piece of paradise depending on your attitude, and barring any felonious crimes against you. While I can agree with you that Hollywood often promotes licentiousness, they also offer up many things of value that beg people to think. Such is life. The earth is not evil, and nor are guns. The people who occupy the earth, and possess the guns are not simply evil, but certainly have the capacity for evil, and the capacity for good. Even if someone is an atheist, they generally believe in a code written into human beings for good.

This can bring us to a point of theological nature. If you've read anything I've written you should know I'm a believer, but this is not a Christian nation by definition even since our foundation. That means as Christians, it is our job to operate without the "promotion", or "prohibition" of the government. Jesus will NOT be elected as president. He doesn't need that title of men.

He is a king that "rains" on his people and therefore projects himself through them, from way up high on the mountain top, his heel will rest upon his enemies as they will be made into instruments of servitude, as footstools. The service will be in true love, absent of BS, or hyperbole. That's the new game straight outta New Jerusalem existing beyond walls, and borders and in the hearts and hands of believers everywhere, one nation under God, made of many colors.

So, I'll leave the question to you.  Will Los Angeles be destroyed if the Oroville Dam bursts?



Peace to you.