Sunday, January 17, 2016

Dirty Shirley

A couple of women and a man sat talking on the sofa behind me.  I couldn't hear what they were saying, but one of the women really liked to laugh a lot, and heartily.  You know the kind... it's as if they just got high for the first time and you laugh at everything, except she wasn't high, but on life and maybe a couple of drinks.

The man had to leave and as he was getting up to go in walks a guy with a dog.  The pair were fairly regular in this dog friendly bar where sometimes they gather in groups and play together, yet without any dog fights, only play fighting and wrestling.  It really is awesome to see dogs interact with each other.  The same thing holds true for them as it does for humans.  The big dog will assert his dominance, except with humans it's not always the biggest dog that is dominant.  Our current form of survival of the fittest has nothing to do with brawn.

It's the guy armed with technology and money making the system rely upon him.  According to a Google search, Mark Zukerberg is just 5" 7', and Bill Gates isn't even six feet tall at 5" 10'.  While I do not subscribe to the idea that white people are superior, one thing they seem to be superior at is arming themselves with technologically advanced weaponry, even if it is the Internet, which can work for and against you.  But, in business, all news is good news as long as they're talking about you.

Technology is one thing that separates us from the animals.  One other thing is manners.  No dog, or cat ever invented anything remotely close to the Internet, and they certainly never say thank you after a meal, unless you count that lick in the face as a thank you, which it is, but without the formation of words.  Barks, and growls and meows might be a form of language, but they aren't words like we have as humans.

The bartender was telling me about the night before where there had been a party.  She was saying that the night went well, and that even though the crowd got a little drunk, she tolerated the behavior as they had arranged to use the place and they were putting money in her jar.  She said, "Yeah, everything was fine, but I knew things were getting out of control when they would come up to the bar asking for a Dirty Shirley while knocking over my tip jar!"

The laughter of the two women remaining on the sofa behind me overheard the comment about the Dirty Shirley and began to laugh out loud!  I had never heard of a Dirty Shirley...

I had a container of Broccoli Cranberry Cole Slaw sitting in front of me.  It had been in the cooler for a couple of days and it needed to be thrown out as it was turning brown.  The woman with the great sense of humor got up from the sofa wearing a very short skirt, and came over to me asking first about the container of food, "What is that... Orzo?"

I said, "No, it's Broccoli Cranberry"  "Oh", she said, "I thought it was Orzohhhh"!!!  I looked at here kinda funny as to why she had decided to extend the pronunciation from Orzo to Orzohhhh, when I realized what was going on.  Fido had decided to examine the surroundings and all of its inhabitants, as dogs are wont to do when he stuck his snout up the back side of the laughing woman's skirt to identify her gender and species, exactly in supreme spot of identification!  Fido had found the Orzo!!!  Why dogs can follow hand commands, but can't judge gender on sight, I don't know, but that's life... a dog's life to be sure!

With the exclamation, I looked down and saw Fido removing his nose from the bottom of her skirt!  I couldn't help but laugh and as I did, I said, "Well... now I know what a Dirty Shirley is!"  The woman laughed from her deepest interior as I continued to do myself as others around us joined in the joyous chorus of laughter!

Realizing this could quickly turn from funny to embarrassing, I decided to call the dog Shirley and told him to go away and keep his nose to himself.  The recipient of the friendly greeting continued to laugh as she gave me a high-five and conversations returned where they were.

It just goes to show one more thing that separates us from the animals is a Dirty Shirley which predates the Internet, Mark Zukerberg, and Bill Gates!!  They're both taller than a dog but in this case, the dog was the perfect height!

Cheers & Bottoms Up... I mean, ORZOHHH!