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The Alley

Earlier in the day, I had seen a post on Facebook by one of me and my brother's best friends growing up, Bobby.  It was acknowledging that it had been ten years since his mother, Ruth, had passed.  Ruth was more like a mother to me than my own mother.  I never asked, and I know Bobby was originally from Boston before he and his mom moved South after divorcing from his dad, but from the accent she was from Brooklyn.

I wanted to say something and I did by posting something on Bobby's page.  I told Bobby, "Your Mom was very influential on me and there were two things she said that would always stick with me.  Number one, we would be hanging out in the den...  Ruth would generally stay upstairs when we would come hang out.  She'd let us play the stereo, and watch tv, but on more than one occasion we would be blaring Beatles records, or Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers way too loud when she would come to the top of the stairs and shout out to us with that thick accent, "Lower that!"  And that's exactly what we would do, because if there's one thing Ruth got it was respect!

The other thing she told me specifically was when her other son Michael came down to visit one time and I being a baseball player used Skoal.  I gave some to Michael because he wanted to try it and within minutes he was sick.  He went inside and told his mom what had happened when she came outside, again at the top of the steps she told me, "Don't give my son that stuff again!"  I never did again.  In fact, I quit myself.

Now, this is a lot funnier if you hear me telling this as I was doing earlier that day with a guy at the bar.  First, I told his wife who busted out laughing when I told her as he did as well.  I had been laughing heartily all day long over this to the point of hysterics.  I proceeded to have a few beers (3 pitchers in fact), and then I made my way over to the alley, a favorite spot that no longer exists.

Suddenly, two young lesbians sharing the same name of  Maddie showed up.  One of the young Maddies packed up a pipe and offered up some smoke.  I was already BAKED and I had begun reciting my poem to them which is said with the rhythm of a rap and entitled Morning Sex in the Parking Deck...  This caused more laughter.  So, by this time and after laughing out loud for much of the day, my belly ached and I had reached a point of exhaustion.

With tears still in my eyes from talking with these two young lesbians who... shared the same name... I leaned back on the bench and looked to my right as another group of people entered the alley.  I swear, one of the people taking her seat just two seats down was none other than funny lady, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, the actress who played Elaine in Seinfeld!  Or, at least I think it was...  My vision isn't what it used to be.

Believe it or not, I am not one to see things, or hallucinate.  So, I reached out and shook her hand, as she did mine.  She simply said, "Hi", but was speaking with the woman who had sat down right next to me.  I didn't interrupt any further, deciding to first to let my laughter subside, and to let the tears in my eyes dry.  Just seeing her (if indeed I did) sent me into more laughter, but all I could do was lean over and try to be quiet without causing a commotion.

By the time I had regained my composure, and sat back up to say something to her; looking over to the right again, she wasn't there.  Poof!! She was gone!!  But an acquaintance of mine was sitting there and was wearing a similar black and white combo.  They wore thhe opposite of each other.  One wore a black top and white pants.  The other wore a white top and black pants.  I looked her straight in the face as she sat there with her back against the wall sitting on the end of the bench and said, "You look like Julia Louis-Dreyfus".  It was like an out from my insanity, and an appeal for confirmation, or denial at the same time.

One of the guys in the group was standing there who concurred by saying, "You do look like Julia Louis-Dreyfus", and then the next thing I know everyone made an exit and went back inside.  I sat there astounded, and BAKED to the point where you just want to sit there and meditate.  I did until one of the guys who works there came out the back door.  I took a peek inside, but everyone was gone.

A few days later, I sent the girl I knew at the scene an email asking her if I was seeing things, or what.  She has yet to confirm, or deny the events as I have described them here, but she did stop and give me a hug on the street the other day.  Is that a confirmation?  Maybe she never got the email.  Maybe she hugged me out of sympathy. 

At any rate, she is best friends with a young, funny girl who I adore who is also the girl in the green jacket I mentioned in a previous BLAHG post.  Now, I know the girl in the green jacket's bestie would have said something to her about this, but she hasn't said anything about it either and I haven't asked!!

Anyway, I just wanted to share this seemingly psychotic experience with you because it was like a dream that feels so real you don't know it's not until you wake up. 

If it was really her, then I am sorry I did not get to speak with her.  I think she is one the all time greats and she has been recognized as one by being inducted into the comedy Hall of Fame!  If it wasn't, then perhaps this is a good way to end my long run of street living by being declared disabled by psychosis and begin to draw a government check like so many others in this town!

Regardless, I'm getting back up on stage and while I hesitate to try to expose myself as some kind of lunatic, this was just too incredible to me to just let it sit in my memory banks.  I gotta work it in.  I mean come on, it's not everyday a guy like me gets to hang out with two young lesbians who share the same name only to think I've seen a star sitting two seats down from me in an alley way!

By the way, this is Ruth, Bobby & Michael from days gone by.  On that day, Ruth started the laughter that would not stop, and then whether in my mind, or not, Julia Louis-Dreyfus appeared!  It was truly magical!  So, if I am crazy, it feels great!









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