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Scandalous Grits

It is scandalous we have people on the streets of America.  It is scandalous we have people stealing from street people.  It is scandalous to disturb the peace with GRITS!

Regardless, of how many homeless people there are in America, there are too many.  A day in the life of a street person begins around 5:30, or 6:00am.  The first thing one has to do is find a bathroom.  Imagine that, if you will.

Then, if you're fortunate enough to be poor in America, you wait for breakfast which is served after 8:00am.  Between waking up, taking a crap, and eating breakfast, you might smoke, or some just go ahead and start drinking, and never go to breakfast.  The beer store opens at 7am.

However, on any given Saturday morning, you might find yourself at the Sparrow's Nest for breakfast.  It's usually really good.  You listen to a short sermon and then breakfast is served.

Now, mind you, I spent a great portion of my life living in a BLUR!  I had a beer in one hand and a Bible in the other.  Antihistamines, allergies and a horrible case of un-diagnosed ADD, made it so that my mind could not slow down enough to see straight.  I'm not sure, how I survived, but it has taken twelve years on the streets to reach a place of mental clarity, and the disappearance of those horrible environmental allergies.

See, there are only two kinds of people in the whole wide world.  There are the people from the Department of Peace, the DOP.  And, there are people from the Department of Piss People Off, the DOPPO.  I'm not here to piss anybody off, but upon entering the kitchen after the short sermon one Saturday morning, I grabbed a plate full of food in one hand, and a bowl of grits in the other.  I only have two hands.  So, when I turned to the lady who was at the next station she had a spoon and a bowl full of fresh fruit; watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew.

She asked, "Would you like some fresh fruit?".

I said, "Yes, I would like some fresh fruit."

She then asked, "Where would you like for me to put it?"

I look down quickly and told her, "Just dump them in the GRITS!"

It was as if you could hear the air leaking out of a tire, with a gasp she reacted!  It was as if I had broken some federal law!  And, then I sat down at my table and proceeded to sprinkle black pepper on them! Again, with another gasp, she came walking past where I was sitting.

"You're not from the South, are you", she quizzed me.

I said, "Ma'am... I'm not sure I'm from this planet!"

I don't read the Bible much anymore, but I remember one thing it says, "Every knee shall bow and every tongue confess, Jesus Christ is Lord".  I got down on one knee and quoted this passage as I told this story at an NPR hosted event at our local storyteller showcase called Rabbit Box in association with The Moth out of New York.

As I returned to my feet and the microphone, I continued, "And, if a knee is good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for the flag!"

The sold out venue was almost silent on that remark except for one guy who let out a clap and an enthusiastic WHEW!

"I have one more thing to say", I explained.  And, that is, "Kiss my Scandalous GRITS"!

They laughed!

It's hard breaking tradition, especially when you don't really know you're doing it.  I am reminded of Christ and his disciples walking through the wheat fields on the Sabbath day plucking heads of wheat.  The ruling elite came to them in the fields accusing them of breaking Sabbath law by working.  The band of brothers must have shaken their heads in disbelief.  But, if you think about it, who was really working that day?





To Read More:

Synchronicity

https://gabenewmanblahgs.blogspot.com/2018/10/synchronicity.html




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