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Being Poor

Being poor is immediately defined as not having any money, but a deeper more sincere definition occurs.  Being of a poor mind is the truly defining characteristic of poverty, a poor spirit is never rich.

It's not about having money, or even not having money.  Heck, I've been broke for nearly twelve years now, but I'm not poor!  Being poor is a mindset, really.  But, over the years, I have truly been able to be around truly poor people.  In hindsight, I see now, even before my life on the streets, I knew poor people before who had lots of stuff!

Truly poor people get stuck in a way of doing things and never seek change.  There is a certain sense of security in being poor and constantly surrounding yourself with others who maybe, speak just like you.  Poor people definitely have a way of speaking.

On that note, I have compiled a list of the top ten characteristics, or traits of being poor!

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Traits of Poor People

Trait Number 1:

Poor people, no matter what color they are, have a certain way of speaking.  With every statement someone makes, the response from a poor person is always the same, though there are variations, but most limited to either HUH?, or WHA?

Somehow this extends a conversation by at least two times depending on how many HUHz and WHAz are asked in response to what is usually an unintelligible statement made by another poor person.  However, it doesn't matter because if you are not a poor person and you speak plain English, a poor person will still reply with HUH?, or WHA?

Apparently, it really means, I like spending time with you.  Let's spend even more time together repeating ourselves over and over again!

Trait Number 2:

Poor people love to ask others what time it is.  Or, it may be a question of what the date is.  Every now and then, people can't remember the date, but when you're sitting at a computer and you ask the person next to you what time, or date it is, you're not only poor, but you're a f*cking moron and you probably love the president.

And, if you want to know what time it is, and you won't ask the computer instead, it's time to get a f*cking watch, ok?  By the way, don't ask me what time it is!

Trait Number 3:

Poor people love to BARREY INK PENS.  Borrowing ink pens is not exclusive to poor people.  Many people don't carry pens, and want to borrow one from someone else.  These people are not usually poor, but they are needy and not prepared for life, which is kinda like being poor.  Carrying a pen is essential in this world even though smart phone and digital signatures are changing things, a pen will no longer be sufficient and a stylus may be in order.  However, when you BARREY an INK PEN, ask yourself HUH?  Is there any other kind of pen?  Perhaps, they are referencing fountain pens, or quills since they are so frequently used these days and have to differentiate to make things clear.  All I know is poor people always want to BARREY INK PENS

Trait Number 4:

Poor people love ketchup, en masse.  Some rich people love ketchup, but pretty much all poor people love ketchup.  Ketchup is the bridge between rich and poor and it is a sticky bridge being filled with corn syrup.  But, if you say HUH? and WHA? enough, you'll probably get all the way across the bridge without missing a beat in the conversation.

Trait Number 5:

Poor people look funny in high end automobiles.  Have you ever seen a poor person sitting in a Mercedes-Benz?  It just doesn't look right, and it makes a horrible sound when you're riding across a sticky bridge!

Trait Number 6:

Poor people love noise.  Silence is scary.  If a poor person has a home, one thing is pretty much assured, the tv is always on, and probably tuned to FOX news.

Trait Number 7:

Poor people smoke A LOT!!!  Usually, poor people are chain smokers and often times end up with COPD which then leads to frequent visits to the "doctor", otherwise known as the emergency room, where they are "caught" and "released" because they generally don't have any insurance.  So, like fish and homeless veterans, the system just throws them out.

Trait Number 8:

Poor people will accept just about anything that is free.  There's that neediness again.  Seriously, you can offer a poor person a sack of dog shit, and they'll take it, if it's FREE!

Trait Number 9:

Poor people won't eat anything they don't recognize from a tv commercial, or a Mickey Dz menu.  Do not try to get a poor person to eat Hummus, or Edamame.  They will not eat it, unless it has golden arches on it and that's never going to happen!

Trait Number 10:

Poor people love to say HELL YEAH, as in, HELL YEAH... Well, for just about anything.  It works kind of like HUH? and WHA?, but instead of looking for a repeated statement, they want others to join in and say HELL YEAH too... Which is a repeated statement, except by someone else!  It creates unity in poverty, and, for some reason, votes for the president.

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I could go on, but then I have to start talking about sex and while most poor men will have sex with anything with two legs and a hole between them, poor women are more selective.  They just prefer to be sure their new mates get along well with their old ones since they travel in packs.

Happy Thanksgiving!

HELL YEAH, HUH?

Remember, there's not steak, or ketchup at the soup kitchen, even on Veterans Day...

HUH? WHA? HUH? WHA? HUH? WHA? HUH? WHA?




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