Couch Potato Gigolos

Couch Potato Gigolos

Just what is a couch potato gigolo?  It’s simple.  It’s a guy who is hired to come sit on a woman’s couch and watch TV, play cards, or play board games. YAHTZEE!  It’s a companion fee that these guys get paid.  Just want someone to hang out with?  Then you need a couch potato gigolo!

The issue came up during a discussion with a friend who is also a history buff.  He told me a joke about a kid named Johnny who was having a test the next day.  His father told him a way to remember stuff was to make a rhyme like, “In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue.”  That clicked with the boy.  He went to school the next day confident about taking his test.

The following day, the results were in.  The boy came home from school dejected.  His father asked what the matter was.  The boy said, “I missed the question about Columbus”.

Dad asked, “How did you do that?  I thought we worked on a rhyme together”.

The boy said, “Yeah, but I couldn’t remember it and all I could think of was, ‘In 1493 Columbus crossed the deep blue sea”.

What a new world it is!  The breezes of change sweep the land in what is a nation of tolerance.  Tolerance to the point of absurdity where murderers are kept alive to stand trials that drag on for years and where the Mona Lisa is still considered art, but so is an online stripper!  Now, that’s open mindedness for you.

Open mindedness and tolerance are not synonymous with each other but the line between them is blurred.  They might be mutually inclusive of each other, but not the same.  Open mindedness tends to lend itself to those who perform what society has traditionally viewed as bad behavior in order to justify in one’s own mind what one is doing, and used to try to convince others of the same value.

Tolerance on the other hand is more akin to libertarian thinking that says your rights only extend as far as your neighbors nose, as one old philosopher put it.  The moment you cross the line from your rights and infringe upon another one’s rights, you break the rule of tolerance by not tolerating one who might disagree with you.

We’ve come a long way in the name of freedom, but even that term is up in the air as to what it means.  To some freedom is to do what you please.  Apply the libertarian principle to that kind of thinking and even freedom is not as free as we’d like it to be.  Freedom has always been accompanied by rules.

If you apply freedom, tolerance and open mindedness to that of a child molester, or a serial killer with the attitude that one should be able to do as one pleases, we would have to accept these people as normal.  You would also have anarchy, not freedom.  We have laws against certain behaviors because often times one’s freedom can become a violation against another.

In some cultures marriage was signified by a couple jumping over a broom.  There wasn’t a fancy wedding, but a simple gesture.  Somehow the government crept into the broom closet and wanted the broom for itself.

Marriage licenses have been around for much of our nation’s history, but they haven’t always been around.  Essentially what a marriage license does is say that it is illegal for people to marry without state approval.  Basically, true marriage of the heart and broom is currently illegal.

With the current logic, gay marriage should also be afforded a license by the state because it has long been held that homosexuality is illegal.  Before marriage licenses existed in the colonial states, the only state requirements were deferred to parents of those to be wed.  That and an issuance of public notice, but no license was granted because it wasn’t considered illegal as we do now.  By requiring a license we basically say it is illegal for a man and a woman to marry without permission of the state.  Forget what the parents think.

Now, gay rights advocates scream for more government intervention.  Just as the state learned it could create revenue by requiring marriage licenses, the secular state we live in today should by all means approve gay marriages if they are going to remain consistent in their logic.

But, is that the solution to the problem?  Very simply, as I have said many times before, almost everybody agrees we want as little government in our lives as possible and yet we cry out to the state for more intervention.  This is a paradox.

Just go jump over a broom instead.  Drop the tax benefit anybody receives for being married and we lessen government intervention in our lives.  Everybody can find a broom and then the only people that matter are you and your family and the God that you may, or may not believe in.  Does that make sense?

I’m often accused of being closed minded on the issue because I don’t think gay marriage should be legalized, or licensed.  But, I am not closed minded.  I’m just pro-smaller government.  We have entirely too much of it when they should be sticking to roads, bridges and the military.

We have come to a point in society where the cities have been built, we have ample roads and bridges and way too much war.  Government should be fading away, not growing.

So, I am not a homophobe.  I’ve been around gay people my entire life since my youth.  The best experience I ever had with a gay person was when I was in a training class for work.  We all wore typical business attire meaning shirts and ties and such.  One day, while we all went to lunch together, I dropped some marinara on my tie.  I was embarrassed when the one obviously gay guy in the class said to me, “It is okay.  You know ties were originally invented as napkins”.

Marriage has always been an institution of the church, not the state.  In fact, you can find an open minded church right now that will marry two gay people.  So, why shouldn’t the secular state recognize the union of two same sexed people?  When the dust settles, God will sort it all out. 

I don’t need the government to tell me what I can do with my pee-pee.  If you want to go stick your pee-pee in a butt hole, go right ahead.  See if I care.  Just don’t try to stick it in mine.  That would be legal grounds for murder.  Your rights only extend as far as your neighbors nose, or his butt hole.  I’m trying to keep this rated G because Blogger sent me a message after I applied for Google Ad Sense and they told me I didn’t qualify for the Ad Sense program because my writing was either lewd, or adult content.  Apparently, their crawlers aren’t very good at interpreting language.

Personally, I don’t care what you do with you pee-pee, or your vajayjay and you shouldn’t’ care what I do with mine.  Although I can’t even remember the last time I had sex.  Well, that’s not true, but it’s been awhile, long enough that I think I’ve reclaimed my virginity.

What this whole debate boils down to is money.  It’s not about equality, or freedom.  It’s about the money.  You are free to live with anybody you want and nobody is  going to come around knocking on your door to see what you are doing in your bedroom, except for some pervert, even if it is illegal for two unrelated people to cohabitate in Athens, Ga. 

My point is only this.  If you really want to be free, quit relying on the government to legislate morality.  Marriage is already illegal anyway because of the government sticking its nose in your business… without a license from the state.  Government has grown again after yesterdays Supreme Court ruling.  The government should not be in the marriage business, but I can argue that until I’m blue in the face because the people of this land don’t understand what true freedom is anymore than they understand what Communism is.  They were just always taught to hate the Communists, but just ask most people to define Communism and they can’t do it.

The winds of change sent Columbus across the waters to find a land he thought was another.  Just as young Johnny thought it was 1493 instead of 1492, we’re all in the same boat now one nation under, not God, but the government.

Government is growing when it should be diminishing.  No more government please!  Less government, please!  No more marriage licenses either!  That’ll be the day…

Now, call your couch potato gigolo because they are perfectly legal, okay?