I have grown up around gay people. From my earliest years, one particular gay man, loved my mother and would send her flowers. My dad didn't care. He didn't pose any threat to my father. They told me he was gay and explained what that meant. I thought it meant happy. They said it does mean happy, but it also means this...
However, I have to confess, I have had some "good" gay experiences, and some not so good gay experiences. My best gay experience came when I was about twenty years old while attending a training class for my first job after college graduating from UGA with my BS degree in Comedic Justice. Don't bother checking the records. They don't acknowledge me, though I still root for the DAWGS! I've never been tailgating. I think that might be the reason, but nobody has ever invited me to tailgate. Otherwise, I would gladly go, but as was the case the other day when I went to the bank to tell them I wanted to make a deposit. I told them so, but since they won't give me any money, then I couldn't! They just pointed to the door, shaking their heads in disbelief.
But, I digress from the point of this post which is about my best and worse gay experiences. The best came after going to lunch with a training class I was attending, fresh out of college for my first job in corporate America. There were about eight people, including one particular gay guy one would call a flame, if that isn't offensive. I'm using the other F word after all. I don't know how else to describe him, but he is one of those guys, if he's still alive, that pretty much everyone would agree, he's gay, just by looking at him. Nobody ever thought Rock Hudson was gay on appearance, but he wasn't like Rock. He was most definitely effeminate, and lived up to his prejudiced assumption by others.
We went to lunch in our shirts and ties and business attire. I made the mistake of having spaghetti, and, of course, I got spaghetti sauce on my tie. Usually, that would have fallen on my white shirt, but it fell on my tie. This particular guy came to me after lunch while I was trying to clean it up and said, "It's okay Gabe. Ties were originally invented as napkins." That's the best gay experience I ever had.
On the other hand, and I say this because I believe it is relevant to our current culture. This is a confession I haven't made very much, but let me explain. There are actually at least two worst gay experiences, I've encountered. One being, when I was about 16 years old playing a video game at the arcade, back in the day when some pervert came and gave me a reach around grabbing my crotch and then proceeding into the mall where I chased his perverted ass into the gun shop exclaiming to the shopkeeper what had just happened asking for him to call, the authorities, while he just looked at me with a dumb look on his face. Maybe if I had asked him for a gun he would have done something!
I am particularly frustrated with a recent rash of attacks, I would call them. I guess there isn't any harm in trying, but the boldness of homosexuals has been enlivened in recent years. Understandable as this may be, I publish this with all due respect. My other worst gay experience, other than ones I might not have been aware of as a fourth grader in small school in a very small town by and educator who would have me sit in his lap, was with a co-worker who I counted as a friend.
Another, obviously gay male, I hadn't seen in probably a year. He stopped me on the street as I was walking by starting a conversation on what had been going on. He then asked me if I wanted to smoke some pot. I am not opposed to this idea, though I cannot afford the stuff, because THEY won't give me any money, as I've already pointed out. I don't want anybody to GIVE me anything, so let me rephrase, I haven't apparently learned how to earn my money, which brings me to the point at hand.
Another, obviously gay male, I hadn't seen in probably a year. He stopped me on the street as I was walking by starting a conversation on what had been going on. He then asked me if I wanted to smoke some pot. I am not opposed to this idea, though I cannot afford the stuff, because THEY won't give me any money, as I've already pointed out. I don't want anybody to GIVE me anything, so let me rephrase, I haven't apparently learned how to earn my money, which brings me to the point at hand.
We go to this house where he said his friend was letting him watch for a couple of weeks. He pours up two glasses of Jack over ice, fills the bowl and we proceed to drink and smoke, when suddenly he asks, "Can I ask you for a favor?" I looked at him, because of his tone and said, "Look Man, I think I know what you're going to ask and I'm not down with that". Immediately, as I finished my statement he says, "I'll give you fifty bucks if you let me suck your dick".
I'm like, "Wha?" I thought he was just going to try to have sex with me, which would have been offensive enough to me from someone I considered to be a friend. Instead, he put me in the position of being a prostitute, which I told him. What did he do then? He raised the price to hundred bucks! I said, immediately, "I gotta go man! I thought you were my friend". To which he almost started to cry.
So, let me be very clear with you. If I don't ever find prosperity in finances and this is the reason why, then so be it. Please 'don't hand me no lines, and keep your hands to yourselves' my good gay folk. I don't understand your sexuality, and I certainly don't understand attempts of manipulation, or groping. The only thing I can be thankful for in these worst experiences is for the one good gay experience.
Please don't hit on me. It makes me feel like a pink flamingo who stands on one leg all day long waiting to run because everything is trying to eat it. It happened again recently which has prompted this post and I do realize that not every gay person is going to read this post, but for those who do, please spread the word. I don't have a gay bone in my body. I have zero interest in participating in something I find repulsive that you take in pleasure in even if it is at my own expense. Even though I might profit by it, as flattering as you might think it be, it does not interest me. Does that make sense?
Please don't hit on me. It makes me feel like a pink flamingo who stands on one leg all day long waiting to run because everything is trying to eat it. It happened again recently which has prompted this post and I do realize that not every gay person is going to read this post, but for those who do, please spread the word. I don't have a gay bone in my body. I have zero interest in participating in something I find repulsive that you take in pleasure in even if it is at my own expense. Even though I might profit by it, as flattering as you might think it be, it does not interest me. Does that make sense?
Thank you.
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